Everyone of us have experienced difficult emotions with varying degrees of effectively processing and embracing them fully. Royce Morales, creator of Perfect Life Awakening, part of our PureEsperanza Community, and guest blog writer this month gives excellent and relatable examples of how to identify and work with our emotions for our greater well-being. These helpful and practical tips are part of the services she offers. In these times of great awakenings, transitions, and transformations we welcome Royce’s expertise and are thankful she shares this blog with us.
Feeling emotions is a vital key to your spiritual evolution. Why? Because, as the saying goes, what you resist, persists.
Emotions just want to be felt. Stopping their natural process only makes them stuck and that affects all areas of your life. Like an open computer tab, they end up running you in the background. They get louder and louder as you suppress them, a vicious cycle that eats at your aliveness.
You were probably taught by people who were expert at suppressing their own emotions that they are bad, unpredictable and dangerous. From that input, among other things, you have perfected ways to avoid them or judge them when they do sneak out.
Bottled up emotions show up in physical forms — tightness in your throat, a queasy stomach, headaches, insomnia, accidents to name a few. These are manifestations trying to show your denial. The body does not lie.
Suppressed emotions can make you more aggressive, depressed and even have you numb out to the good in life. You may feel miserable for no apparent reason or overreact to little things and wonder why.
On a spiritual path, you might have been told to “Just look at the bright side,” and “Only think positive thoughts.” If you are in the middle of an upset, a well-meaning spiritual friend may dutifully remind you that “It’s all good!”
Those dictates have truth, but using them as spiritual bypasses can be harmful. Internalized emotions have to come out somehow. And they do. Loudly. Even as you meditate trying to send them away.
Accept that no matter what you have been taught, emotions are a natural part of your human experience. They are your best teachers leading you to what still needs healing. Permitting yourself to feel them until they are done does not lessen your evolutionary level; it shows that you are accepting your humanness and growing more toward your spiritual nature.
Ways to Deal and Feel
How do you distract yourself when trying to cope with or escape feeling your emotions? Do you work excessively, use substances, do some binge watching, go shopping, clean your house, pray?
Let yourself slow down and observe your emotions from a place of curiosity. Invite them to communicate with you so as to discover the message they are trying to relay. Ask yourself what is this emotion really about and trust the instant answer you receive even if it does not make sense.
Allow yourself to express openly, knowing that others just might be acceptant of what you are sharing. If a little voice in your head insists that expressing emotions means you are weak, do not believe it. Admitting vulnerability is courageous and contagious. It builds trust and connection. Plus, verbally acknowledging an emotion takes much of the oomph out of it.
Tune in to where the emotion is felt in your body. That is an important part of its message. Embrace it with full awareness, noticing and letting go of any judgements you have. Being with what you are feeling allows the energy to flow and be set free.
It might feel uncomfortable facing and feeling negative emotions at first, but trust that doing so is healing and can improve the overall quality of your life.
Incomplete Emotions Want Out
Emotions expose stuck, subconscious traumas that have not been felt all the way through. They are neon signs showing you that something from your past needs to be felt, understood, resolved and released.
When something traumatic happened, you may not have allowed yourself to feel your emotions all the way. Perhaps someone told you “I’ll give you something to cry about,” or “Big girls don’t cry.” Maybe you already believed that emotions were dangerous, so you put the brakes on yourself.
Those incomplete emotional experiences are lurking around, waiting to be felt. They are the reason you overreact when things happen now.
Fear and Love
Any emotion that is not love-based is fear in camouflage. Let yourself get in touch with the often-subconscious fear being triggered showing up under the guise of sadness, anger, jealousy, etc. This helps calm your reactiveness and can get you back to love, your next spiritual level.
Be that good friend to yourself who listens with compassion to your emotions. Hear what they are trying to tell you. Be present with them, get their message, and know that you have taken an important spiritual step.
The magic is, once you hear them, honor them and feel them, they can stop. And you can get to your next spiritual step: Authentic love.